Men are more likely to cause stress to mothers than their children, a new study has found. Here’s what relationship experts and some parents have to say about it, as well as tips to reduce this stress.
There is no doubt that women face many challenges. For mothers, the birth of a child begins the complex process of embryogenesis, a period of transition to adapt to major changes in life and body. This seismic transition often takes the brunt of the mental load, which can lead to parenting burnout.
Therefore, the research is not surprising Today More than 7,000 mothers were asked to report their stress levels, and one mother’s stress level was 8.5 out of 10. Reported as their biggest stressor? Their partners. For 46 percent of these mothers, their partners are more of a source of stress than their children. This is a relationship stereotype where the male partner is the cause of endless irritation. Parents we spoke with often reported that this happens in line with the research. We also spoke with a therapist who shared some ways forward.
Georgina Sturmer is a BACP registered counselor specializing in helping women to be happy and confident in their relationships. Georgina tells us, “When it comes to a couple or any co-parenting model, the dynamic feels like shifting sands. Like an unbalanced power struggle. Maybe we oscillate between ‘good cop’ and ‘bad cop.’ Maybe how we parent. may not agree.
“Perhaps anger and resentment arise from pulling your weight in household chores. Or in decisions about money, family life, socializing, etc. There are many triggers for disagreement, and we often feel physically and mentally exhausted. This sometimes It means that instead of finding support from our parents, we feel like we’re adding extra weight to our lives.”
“There are so many triggers that can cause conflict, and we can feel physically and mentally overwhelmed and exhausted with everything we have to do. This sometimes means that instead of finding support from our parents, we can feel that way. If only they were ours. if adding extra weight to life.”
Georgina Sturmer, consultant
Research shows that mums are most stressed about not having enough time to do everything, with three-quarters of mums with a partner saying they do most of the childcare and housework. One in five people say not getting enough support from their partner is a huge source of daily stress.
Lucy, a mother of two, agrees. She says, “I work from home and my husband works between the home and the office. He always finishes before me and seems to work less hours. It amazes me how he can come in and stop doing laundry. Loads and loads of recycling and all that stuff.” a dishwasher for the job, he’s a grown-up. Go straight to the kitchen without panting before he’s done all the work he could easily do.”
Kate, a mother of three, feels the same way. She said, “I was relieved when my husband took a job that meant he would be away a lot. To be honest, life was easier without him at home. I tried to get him involved in the household chores. I tried to get him involved in every job he left. He’s easy on his own.” I left a sticky note saying “Yours Kate” because she didn’t care enough about me and didn’t respect me enough, she was embarrassed and tried to do better, but now she spends most of her time and I will do things. It’s less of a burden to not take care of him.”
Georgina tells us that these feelings can be managed and that there are ways to move forward.
What to do if your partner is harassing you
- Understand what is happening. Georgina says, “It’s common for one parent to whine about the other. Maybe it’s about the dishwasher, staying up late, or spending money. And some of it might be a joke. But if you’re worried, upset, or angry Find out what’s going on on a regular basis: Is it a general problem in your relationship?
- Communication. Georgina adds, “Once we know what’s holding us back, the next step is to think about how we’re going to deal with it. It may sound scary, but you’re probably doing it in unhealthy ways. The silent treatment, closing the door, and talking about each other. When talking, use “I” words to express how you feel, instead of making it seem like you’re attacking the other person.
- Be open to feedback. “It’s one thing to understand what’s going on and start talking,” Georgina continued, adding, “But another part of it is acknowledging that our co-parents might have something to say, too, and being open to their constructive feedback as we move forward. need
- Remember to enjoy each other. When we have children, it’s easy to lose track of who we are. Our specialty is that the task of caring for our children becomes that of mothers, fathers, and parents. It is very important to preserve one’s individuality. This also applies to the “greatness” of our relationship. We remember the things we like about each other, having fun together, thinking about date nights and intimacy, even when those things are on the back burner for a while.”
To learn more about communication and motherhood, we can share daily habits delete your relationshipwhy some people approach emotional deception. And we have some tips to help you remember your partner againif you want to bring a little spark to your partnership.
Georgina Sturmer is a BACP registered counselor who helps women understand what is holding them back from being happier, more confident and more flexible in their lives and relationships.
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